Hello Kaipaki Nation,
The player performance ratings in this weeks edition of the
Kaipaki Herald should read something like this… ratings are out of
10.
Corey Hyde
– has taken over the mantel, from Simon Bratton, of ‘Mr Cool’ in the team. His
dark sunglasses, mullet and swagger make him the ideal man to play a leading
role in the remake of ‘The Blues Brothers’. Had a useful performance with the
bat and wicket keeping gloves but like his predecessor Bratton his
unwillingness to speak makes running between wickets very confusing and
sometimes outright impossible… 7
John Skleners
– Brings great humour into the changing room and is challenging John Parker for
best cricket stories. Would be an interesting contest to see who was funnier
out of Howard Baker and Sklens – I pick Sklens at this stage because at least
he contributes runs and plus Howard has ginger hair. Made a well compiled 56
that included mostly boundaries. The running between wickets between a guy who
doesn’t speak and a guy that doesn’t run is as comical as Nick Groves bowling
action. It was no surprise that Sklens was eventually run out by a length of a
pitch. 7
Fraser Kilgour
– Kaipaki’s marquee cricketer put in a very selfish performance on Saturday. He
hit 149 off 75 balls and at one point hit 29 off one over including 4
consecutive sixes. Fraser is getting no more attention and must learn to share
runs with his team mates. 2
Chris Steffert
– Did Chris Play?
Brendon Leonard
– has decided that the pathway through playing for Kaipaki is the ideal one to
regain his All Blacks spot. Big news to the ‘Nation’ is that he was called into
replace Carter and Barrett as Piri Weepu can play 10 – however Kaipaki have not
released him due to the fact the NZRU are unwilling to pay out the transfer fee
that ultimately would of paid for our tour to the West Indies next year. Batted
well to score 78. 9
Kent Currie
– His philosophy of calling for head at the toss and not tails (because that
would be weird ) continued to be a good one.
12
Jarrid Foster
– On debut Jarrid has become Kaipaki’s 2nd best left arm bowler. His
3 – 41 wasn’t bad but needs to learn the art of the long follow through, the
glare and the loudness of the grunt if he is to get to number 1. Batted well
and scored 41no. His Mrs (or Mr) made fantastic chocolate brownies –
unfortunately Dotcodotnz thought they were good also and spotted them before the
rest of the team could enter the pavilion. 8
Mitch Mace
– Outstanding debut for Kaipaki. Not only did he turn up in the tightest
smallest stubbies I’ve seen but he has turned up with a magnificent moustache
that would be the envy of any 80’s porn star. He also has something that a lot
of us don’t as 3 very classy looking females came to watch him. It didn’t seem
to make a difference to the field placings…having 9 blokes on the ‘Long On’
boundary is normal. 10
Chris Hurren
– The future of our team had a pretty impressive performance. 3 – 7 off 3 overs
is pretty good but even more impressive is the fact he communicated with the 3
girls on the bank and even got a laugh out of them. The future of Kaipaki is in
good hands.
Dotcodotnz –
had an extremely good lunch. This was one of the more impressive array of plates that
there’s been so for ‘Dotco’ this was better than winning vouchers to 4 Square.
We let him have an hour of digestive time this week which did nothing to improve
his performance. 3
Elliot Webb
– His Dad runs Waikato Valley Cricket so obviously he is going to be a very
valuable member of the team. He’s tall, he’s fast, he bowls heaps of no
balls…all the ingredients to be the best fast bowler in the team.
7
Kaipaki Total – 441 for 5 (Kilgour 149, Leonard 78, Skleners 56,
Hyde 46, Foster 41no, Steffert 30 beat Taumarunui 162 all out (Foster 3 – 41,
Hurren 3-7) by 279 runs
Can someone from the Sunday team please write a match report about our game v Te
Rapa??
Yours in shopping for stubbies and growing a moustache,
Kent Currie
Kaipaki Cricket Club
The player performance ratings in this weeks edition of the
Kaipaki Herald should read something like this… ratings are out of
10.
Corey Hyde
– has taken over the mantel, from Simon Bratton, of ‘Mr Cool’ in the team. His
dark sunglasses, mullet and swagger make him the ideal man to play a leading
role in the remake of ‘The Blues Brothers’. Had a useful performance with the
bat and wicket keeping gloves but like his predecessor Bratton his
unwillingness to speak makes running between wickets very confusing and
sometimes outright impossible… 7
John Skleners
– Brings great humour into the changing room and is challenging John Parker for
best cricket stories. Would be an interesting contest to see who was funnier
out of Howard Baker and Sklens – I pick Sklens at this stage because at least
he contributes runs and plus Howard has ginger hair. Made a well compiled 56
that included mostly boundaries. The running between wickets between a guy who
doesn’t speak and a guy that doesn’t run is as comical as Nick Groves bowling
action. It was no surprise that Sklens was eventually run out by a length of a
pitch. 7
Fraser Kilgour
– Kaipaki’s marquee cricketer put in a very selfish performance on Saturday. He
hit 149 off 75 balls and at one point hit 29 off one over including 4
consecutive sixes. Fraser is getting no more attention and must learn to share
runs with his team mates. 2
Chris Steffert
– Did Chris Play?
Brendon Leonard
– has decided that the pathway through playing for Kaipaki is the ideal one to
regain his All Blacks spot. Big news to the ‘Nation’ is that he was called into
replace Carter and Barrett as Piri Weepu can play 10 – however Kaipaki have not
released him due to the fact the NZRU are unwilling to pay out the transfer fee
that ultimately would of paid for our tour to the West Indies next year. Batted
well to score 78. 9
Kent Currie
– His philosophy of calling for head at the toss and not tails (because that
would be weird ) continued to be a good one.
12
Jarrid Foster
– On debut Jarrid has become Kaipaki’s 2nd best left arm bowler. His
3 – 41 wasn’t bad but needs to learn the art of the long follow through, the
glare and the loudness of the grunt if he is to get to number 1. Batted well
and scored 41no. His Mrs (or Mr) made fantastic chocolate brownies –
unfortunately Dotcodotnz thought they were good also and spotted them before the
rest of the team could enter the pavilion. 8
Mitch Mace
– Outstanding debut for Kaipaki. Not only did he turn up in the tightest
smallest stubbies I’ve seen but he has turned up with a magnificent moustache
that would be the envy of any 80’s porn star. He also has something that a lot
of us don’t as 3 very classy looking females came to watch him. It didn’t seem
to make a difference to the field placings…having 9 blokes on the ‘Long On’
boundary is normal. 10
Chris Hurren
– The future of our team had a pretty impressive performance. 3 – 7 off 3 overs
is pretty good but even more impressive is the fact he communicated with the 3
girls on the bank and even got a laugh out of them. The future of Kaipaki is in
good hands.
Dotcodotnz –
had an extremely good lunch. This was one of the more impressive array of plates that
there’s been so for ‘Dotco’ this was better than winning vouchers to 4 Square.
We let him have an hour of digestive time this week which did nothing to improve
his performance. 3
Elliot Webb
– His Dad runs Waikato Valley Cricket so obviously he is going to be a very
valuable member of the team. He’s tall, he’s fast, he bowls heaps of no
balls…all the ingredients to be the best fast bowler in the team.
7
Kaipaki Total – 441 for 5 (Kilgour 149, Leonard 78, Skleners 56,
Hyde 46, Foster 41no, Steffert 30 beat Taumarunui 162 all out (Foster 3 – 41,
Hurren 3-7) by 279 runs
Can someone from the Sunday team please write a match report about our game v Te
Rapa??
Yours in shopping for stubbies and growing a moustache,
Kent Currie
Kaipaki Cricket Club
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