Kaipaki“Gold” vs Ham East Gold
Venue: Steele Park # 2
Date: Saturday
12/01/13
Weather: Hot ! It was so
hot - Lance Armstrong tested positive for Raro. It was so hot –
Deane Bellis was pretending to be tree – in the hope that a dog would pee on
him….
Participants: G.Currie,
D.Armstrong, A. Fullerton, T.Kapadia, H.Baker, G.Collins, D.Fenwick, E.Stevens,
N.Groves, M. Kapadia, D.Bellis
Match Report:
Kaipaki sent a warning to the rest of the teams in the Senior C
Competition with a comprehensive 3 run win over bottom placed Ham East Gold on
Saturday.
The popularity of the Senior C Competition – and in particular
the Kaipaki Senior C Team – is renown throughout the Waikato and this was once
again proven when a couple of random blokes offered to come and play for us as
we readied ourselves to take the field. Firstly, Dave from Melville turned up
and when advised we had a full team – went and played for the opposition. Then
another bloke –Michael from BT Craneworks – turned up looking for game. When he
was advised we had a full team – he sat down and started drinking our
beer.
Kaipaki won the toss and elected to make first use of the big,
shady trees – and put the opposition in the field.
The presentation of the new Gold Caps was then undertaken by
Howie Baker as he was voted the person most resembling Richie Benaud – in both
age and prostate problems.
As is customary for the Senior C Team - the Batting Order was
then drawn out of a hat.
The start of the game was delayed when the opposition advised
they needed another 15 minutes to finish their box of Bourbon and Cokes. This
was duly granted, as Kaipaki saw it as stalling tactics and decided the
opposition were just delaying the inevitable….
A towering 6 off the first ball of the match set the precedent
for a 50 run opening Partnership between Howie Baker and Deane Bellis (2012
Kaipaki Cricketer Of The Year). And at 101/2 at the drinks break (17
overs) Kaipaki were in a good position to throw caution to wind for the
remaining overs. And they did just that. A solid innings by debutant Mustafa
Kapadia (45) as well as a brisk 44 from Dan Fenwick and an even brisker 41no
from Doc Currie saw Kaipaki finish with a respectable 251/8 after their allotted
35 overs.
During the Innings Break – a few of the boys decided KFC was the
go for lunch. This in itself isn’t so bad. The fact that they drove the 120
metres there and back –from Steele Park – is bad. Also the fact that Dan Fenwick
struggled to make it out of the TAB at The Eastside for the resumption of play –
is bad.
Kaipaki thought the opposition never looked likely to chase down
the required 7.17 runs per over – and after a couple of quick, cheap wickets, we
thought we would give the opposition a sporting chance, so gave the ball to
Deane Bellis (2012 Kaipaki Cricketer Of The Year) to roll through a few
overs.
After his 3 over spell – and a couple of equally hairy overs at
the other end by Taz Kapadia - the opposition went to the drinks break (17
overs) at 135/2 – and now only needing 6.44 runs per over.
The next 12 overs will be summed up by this quote: “You can play
Cricket your entire life waiting to score a Ton playing classical cricket shots
yet some fat bloke in a ripped t-shirt and beach shorts comes out and hits the
ugliest ton you could ever have the misfortune to see.” Kent Currie,
12/01/13.
With 6 overs to go, the opposition were 5 down and needed less
than 5 rpo -Kaipaki were staring down the
barrel.
However we knew that a couple of quick wickets – and we were
back in this – we just need to keep the Woodchopper at the non-strikers end.
Which we did quite well for the next few overs. Some tight
bowling by Eric Stevens, Nick Groves and the unlikely Howie Baker managed to
slowly and surely dislodge his team mates as Babe Ruth could only watch in
disbelief - stuck up the far end.
So we get to the last Over – Opposition need 4 to win with 1
wicket remaining. Step up Nick Groves to bowl the last
over.
First ball – Off Stump knocked out of the ground !! Its all over
!! We have won !! High fives and bum pats all
round.
But wait – the scoreboard was wrong – they were only 8 down –
they have 1 more to come in….
And then, in farcical circumstances…their last batsman – who
apparently injured himself fielding earlier and now cannot walk – gets carried
out to bat by 2 of his team mates. Kaipaki generously allow the use of a runner.
So the scene was set……..5 balls left, 4 runs needed for
the opposition to win, 1 wicket required for Kaipaki to win, tight ring
field, Barry Bonds at the non-strikers end, a batsman who cannot support his own
weight (possibly drunk and/or stoned) to face, batsmans runner standing
out next to square leg Umpire, Square Leg Umpire (with hoodie on) had no
idea what was going on, Nick Groves at the top of his run up, 10 Kaipaki
Fieldsmen hoping the ball isn’t hit to
them……..
Nick bowls, good line and length , batsman swings – and misses,
ball strikes batsman above the kneeroll just outside the line of legstump.
Batsman stumbles over as the bat was supporting his weight. The Woodchopper
scampersstampedes down the wicket yelling “run, run, run…” , Batsman
looks at the Runner who is still standing at square leg leaning on his bat and
within seconds all 3 opposition batsman are at the same end. Meanwhile Taz
Kapadia –being of calm head and cool mind, has raced in, picked up the ball and
not trusting D. Armstrong (who was standing at the bowlers end stumps yelling
for the ball), ran the entire length of the pitch before gently uprooting middle
stump. Cue the aforementioned high fives and bum pats – from Kaipaki, and
swearing, verbal abuse , blame throwing and in-house fighting from the
opposition.
A nail-biting victory or so we thought……It was then reported by
the Kaipaki Statistician yesterday - that we did in fact bowl 36.2 overs.
So we actually had won the match 1.2 overs previously
!
Once again the call for neutral scorers rears its ugly
head……
Man of the Match: Howie Baker (52
runs + 4 wickets)
Notable Mentions:
Dan Fenwick (44), Musty Kapadia (45), Doc Currie (41no), Eric Stevens and Nick
Groves – for their “Death Bowling”
Next Week
–We play Marist Green at Steele Park. Who’s available ? We already have 5
confirmed – so please advise eagerness / availability to play
asap.
Yours In Snatching Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat,
Darin Armstrong
(Player / Manager Kaipaki Gold
2013)
Venue: Steele Park # 2
Date: Saturday
12/01/13
Weather: Hot ! It was so
hot - Lance Armstrong tested positive for Raro. It was so hot –
Deane Bellis was pretending to be tree – in the hope that a dog would pee on
him….
Participants: G.Currie,
D.Armstrong, A. Fullerton, T.Kapadia, H.Baker, G.Collins, D.Fenwick, E.Stevens,
N.Groves, M. Kapadia, D.Bellis
Match Report:
Kaipaki sent a warning to the rest of the teams in the Senior C
Competition with a comprehensive 3 run win over bottom placed Ham East Gold on
Saturday.
The popularity of the Senior C Competition – and in particular
the Kaipaki Senior C Team – is renown throughout the Waikato and this was once
again proven when a couple of random blokes offered to come and play for us as
we readied ourselves to take the field. Firstly, Dave from Melville turned up
and when advised we had a full team – went and played for the opposition. Then
another bloke –Michael from BT Craneworks – turned up looking for game. When he
was advised we had a full team – he sat down and started drinking our
beer.
Kaipaki won the toss and elected to make first use of the big,
shady trees – and put the opposition in the field.
The presentation of the new Gold Caps was then undertaken by
Howie Baker as he was voted the person most resembling Richie Benaud – in both
age and prostate problems.
As is customary for the Senior C Team - the Batting Order was
then drawn out of a hat.
The start of the game was delayed when the opposition advised
they needed another 15 minutes to finish their box of Bourbon and Cokes. This
was duly granted, as Kaipaki saw it as stalling tactics and decided the
opposition were just delaying the inevitable….
A towering 6 off the first ball of the match set the precedent
for a 50 run opening Partnership between Howie Baker and Deane Bellis (2012
Kaipaki Cricketer Of The Year). And at 101/2 at the drinks break (17
overs) Kaipaki were in a good position to throw caution to wind for the
remaining overs. And they did just that. A solid innings by debutant Mustafa
Kapadia (45) as well as a brisk 44 from Dan Fenwick and an even brisker 41no
from Doc Currie saw Kaipaki finish with a respectable 251/8 after their allotted
35 overs.
During the Innings Break – a few of the boys decided KFC was the
go for lunch. This in itself isn’t so bad. The fact that they drove the 120
metres there and back –from Steele Park – is bad. Also the fact that Dan Fenwick
struggled to make it out of the TAB at The Eastside for the resumption of play –
is bad.
Kaipaki thought the opposition never looked likely to chase down
the required 7.17 runs per over – and after a couple of quick, cheap wickets, we
thought we would give the opposition a sporting chance, so gave the ball to
Deane Bellis (2012 Kaipaki Cricketer Of The Year) to roll through a few
overs.
After his 3 over spell – and a couple of equally hairy overs at
the other end by Taz Kapadia - the opposition went to the drinks break (17
overs) at 135/2 – and now only needing 6.44 runs per over.
The next 12 overs will be summed up by this quote: “You can play
Cricket your entire life waiting to score a Ton playing classical cricket shots
yet some fat bloke in a ripped t-shirt and beach shorts comes out and hits the
ugliest ton you could ever have the misfortune to see.” Kent Currie,
12/01/13.
With 6 overs to go, the opposition were 5 down and needed less
than 5 rpo -Kaipaki were staring down the
barrel.
However we knew that a couple of quick wickets – and we were
back in this – we just need to keep the Woodchopper at the non-strikers end.
Which we did quite well for the next few overs. Some tight
bowling by Eric Stevens, Nick Groves and the unlikely Howie Baker managed to
slowly and surely dislodge his team mates as Babe Ruth could only watch in
disbelief - stuck up the far end.
So we get to the last Over – Opposition need 4 to win with 1
wicket remaining. Step up Nick Groves to bowl the last
over.
First ball – Off Stump knocked out of the ground !! Its all over
!! We have won !! High fives and bum pats all
round.
But wait – the scoreboard was wrong – they were only 8 down –
they have 1 more to come in….
And then, in farcical circumstances…their last batsman – who
apparently injured himself fielding earlier and now cannot walk – gets carried
out to bat by 2 of his team mates. Kaipaki generously allow the use of a runner.
So the scene was set……..5 balls left, 4 runs needed for
the opposition to win, 1 wicket required for Kaipaki to win, tight ring
field, Barry Bonds at the non-strikers end, a batsman who cannot support his own
weight (possibly drunk and/or stoned) to face, batsmans runner standing
out next to square leg Umpire, Square Leg Umpire (with hoodie on) had no
idea what was going on, Nick Groves at the top of his run up, 10 Kaipaki
Fieldsmen hoping the ball isn’t hit to
them……..
Nick bowls, good line and length , batsman swings – and misses,
ball strikes batsman above the kneeroll just outside the line of legstump.
Batsman stumbles over as the bat was supporting his weight. The Woodchopper
scampersstampedes down the wicket yelling “run, run, run…” , Batsman
looks at the Runner who is still standing at square leg leaning on his bat and
within seconds all 3 opposition batsman are at the same end. Meanwhile Taz
Kapadia –being of calm head and cool mind, has raced in, picked up the ball and
not trusting D. Armstrong (who was standing at the bowlers end stumps yelling
for the ball), ran the entire length of the pitch before gently uprooting middle
stump. Cue the aforementioned high fives and bum pats – from Kaipaki, and
swearing, verbal abuse , blame throwing and in-house fighting from the
opposition.
A nail-biting victory or so we thought……It was then reported by
the Kaipaki Statistician yesterday - that we did in fact bowl 36.2 overs.
So we actually had won the match 1.2 overs previously
!
Once again the call for neutral scorers rears its ugly
head……
Man of the Match: Howie Baker (52
runs + 4 wickets)
Notable Mentions:
Dan Fenwick (44), Musty Kapadia (45), Doc Currie (41no), Eric Stevens and Nick
Groves – for their “Death Bowling”
Next Week
–We play Marist Green at Steele Park. Who’s available ? We already have 5
confirmed – so please advise eagerness / availability to play
asap.
Yours In Snatching Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat,
Darin Armstrong
(Player / Manager Kaipaki Gold
2013)
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